Does the rolling stone ever tire of rolling down the slope? Does the gushing streamlet ever get weary of flowing merrily upon its path? Does the answer ever make a fuss about blowing in the wind? Does the cookie ever grumble before it crumbles? Does yours truly ever get fed up of devouring biryani after biryani, night after day after night?
PARADISE LOST
The pursuit of Paradise was set into motion when the commies could no longer ignore the counsel of them wise Haddu non-vegetarians. They reached Secunderabad without much ado; the way ahead proved trickier. Walking took them nowhere, and they settled for an auto-ride. After getting mugged of 30 rupees in broad daylight, they entered Paradise with a little change and lots of hunger to spare.
The quantity seems just about sufficient for two, don’t you think? I don’t see why they wouldn’t bring some extra curry though. Good juicy pieces these, but the rice might be a trifle undercooked. Too little of flesh in there as well; might have helped if this chicken had a larger and stouter leg. My verdict- my mother can cook better chicken biryani than this blindfolded and with her hands tied to her back!
Truth be told, I had had better biryani in my life. The magnanimous promises of Messrs Batulla, Gopal and Dinesh about this being out of this world fell flat on their faces. This was disturbing news indeed- the greatest biryani contrived by man was a myth. There was no greatest biryani- or wait- that must mean I have already had the greatest biryani of my life!
No amount of racking my brains could take me back to the momentous occasion of said masterpiece. After paying the bored waiter a really generous tip under the circumstances, we bid adieu to the mistaken legend of Paradise, albeit with a pledge to forever cherish the memories of gorging on the nth best biryani we had had in our lives. n being a thrilling variable of course.
BAKERIES GALORE
Perhaps in an attempt to salvage something actually precious out of this trip, we found ourselves filing into the Paradise Bakery right across the fabled biryani corner. One look at the varieties on offer was enough to make our mouths water. It is ironic that not more than 5 minutes later, our stomachs were rumbling a collective rumble looking at the remaining chocolate/butterscotch/strawberry on our plates, finishing which up seemed as daunting a task as hauling our sorry asses back to the hostel once the ordeal got over.
One can call it a lucky accident that we bumped into Karachi Bakery while strolling along the cobbled streets near Charminar, but the Kid assures me we had google maps and his flawless instinct to thank. We had more of the same chocolate truffle cake here, and marked out several items at this excellent bakery worthy of carrying back home to the expectant family. In lieu of our misadventures of last time, fate provided us with cake much smaller yet much more delicious than over-rated Paradise.
Mentioning the austere Baker’s Inn here would serve no interest other than a purely academic one, but it stands to reason that for a few depraved souls trudging aimlessly on a hot Saturday afternoon along the deceptively named Jubili Hills- the cold chocolate fudge slices did come as a draught of divine mercy.
SAUCERFUL OF SAMBHAR
While the spelling might be a bit dubious, there is no doubt that the Haddus are in love with the word 'baath/bhath/bath'. If the Wizard of Wank-over is to be believed, and he very well can be in matters concerning the gratification of the vegetarian stomach, it is quite popular in Tamizh Nadu as well. The several complex connotations of the word (all of which are worlds apart from the more regular meaning implying cleansing of the human body) somehow elude me. It behooves me to say that the only bath I am concerned about is a 'sambhar-bath'.
Imagine breaking your fast day after day after day by attacking crispy pieces of Vada floating about in a saucer of spicy sambhar, dipping said pieces in well-seasoned coconut chutney and then swallowing them like the famished primate you know early morning had turned you into. Quite something, innit?
I never get tired of that sambhar-vada. Neither do I find much cause to complain about lunch at the DMRL canteen, which is the same everyday- rice with lots of sambhar, plus a random mixed veggie dish of the culinarian’s choice. Cold curd goes well with the same. This frugal meal ensures that my appetite is well and truly whet for an evening of bird-surfeit.
MEN WHO STARE AT CARCASSES OF GOATS
Why restrict oneself to feeding only on bird-kind, I found myself wondering one day. Never before was a thought shared in such unanimous agreement among comrades. We needed no greater invitation than the sight of a few goat-cadavers hanging outside a Halal shop right in the heart of archaic Nawab-e-Hyderabad.
Prepared by pulverising the innards of a goat and seasoning the resulting gooey mess with selected spices, followed by several long hours of drying out in the sun- the Haleem is a truly exquisite specimen of Hyderabadi mastery that a non-vegetarian just cannot afford to miss. This once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for us was turned all the more memorable by the arrival of mutton biryani, which just about edges out its chicken counterpart in lusciousness.
Our newfound love for the lamb was expressed in every restaurant we went to following that. The bird had spectacularly fallen down the ‘pecking order’. I prayed for the souls of the countless fowls that had become my fodder, before pouncing upon the tender goat flesh that adorned my plate.
FILTER KAAPI
The trick behind making the perfect concoction is hidden somewhere in the deepest darkest and most inaccessible bowels of the planet. Despite the astronomical odds, I am positive it will be discovered one day. Till then, I have to make do with the relatively mediocre drink they serve 6 times a day here. After all, it is only the most sublime, extraordinarily succulent brew to have passed down my throat since the day I entered the murky realms of caffeine-addiction.
BUT I PREFER CHICKS... I MEAN, CHICKENS!
Chicken 65 and Hyderabadi Chicken, among other scrumptious preparations, threatened to win over our affections during a 4-day sabbatical from biryani. We were soon back on the holy staple though; no amount of tearing apart chicken pieces after digging them out of rice bowls could satiate our longing for flesh and blood.
We are all hyenas chasing chickens. We wouldn’t know what to do with them once we catch them, apart from devouring them at the earliest possible opportunity.
My theory is that, unless haddus exercise restraint, the whole range of spicy dishes from their cuisine,including the much hyped ones, shall remain indiscernible(atleast to vegetarians) and leave you begging for water. Funny post. Shelter, food, what's part 3 o_0 ?
ReplyDeleteThat explains every GTalk status over the past few days, thank you very much. I told you Hyderabad is a non-vegetarian's delight. My brother loved taunting our relatives during his brief two-month stay what seems like ages ago with his food trips to such places.
ReplyDeletelol.... i've been making sambar here, and it has, to my surprise been coming quite well too. but your vivid description of the filter kaapi and the sambar vadai, made my mouth water, and made me call up amma and rant to her about homesickness and home food, a ritual that happens everytime i'm hungry but have to cook, Lucky bum.
ReplyDeletetry this thing called vaangi baath (it's rice mixed with fried eggplant and onions) with potato chips.
ironical question, but have you become fat? :P
Not the way to sell non-vegetarianism, I must say. Do a better job of forcing people over to the Dark Side. Or, to borrow Ross' comment, "Share, don't scare".
ReplyDelete@Raghav- ironic, not ironical.
Rapu, who said I as trying to sell non-vegetarianism? The Dark Side is a happy enough place with only a few people around.
ReplyDeleteRaghav- I knew this post would do that to you. Also, since I'm eating the same amount as I always do, there is no question of me getting fat!
Murut, you said it man! Come to think about it, I could have asked your brother about the good non-veg places here. Not that Gopal and Batulla did a bad job, but still.
Nisha, you are damn right. Haddus are so generous with their spices- maybe that is why their chicken preparations are so impeccable! I don't mind spicy food, you know. As for part 3, wait for it.
Argh! An entire post dedicated to food, albeit Meat. Me brain goes crazy. Keep the Haddu-land chronicles flowing.
ReplyDeleteAnd glad to see you've come over to the Caffeine side. Perhaps, now you'll be able to understand the sentiments of this poor Maddu addict.
Come on Krownoz, I bet you're having a brilliant time gorging on French cakes and the likes?
ReplyDeleteOn second thoughts, maybe not. The West can hardly be a picnic for someone not acquainted with the joys of flesh-consumption.
Seems like you have become a pure non-vegetarian. Try the Haddu vegetarian dishes once in a while. From what I've heard, they are pretty good too.
ReplyDeleteNot one of the vegetarian dishes seemed inviting. I've got to try the baath/bhath one of these days.
ReplyDelete